Dreaming in Digital

20241231 my oldest nephew gave me a book of his to borrow at the cottage. It was a really old copy of Beowulf by J.R.R. Tolkien with a red, white and black cover, and yellowing, frayed pages. He's five and a half years old and can barely read.

20241222 i was in high school again, this time in art class. I can't remember what was our project. I went through a bin of random bric-a-brac. I saw a paint brush in a plastic case and thought Cookie might like to own it if these items were abandoned. I also saw a home made, hot pink dildo with a blue tip.

20241217 i was on my old computer from the 90's - a beige desktop that became dirtier and yellow with age. On Windows 95, I opened a chatroom with Shortbread, but my messages were all in a different language. I tried to fix it and the words became Russian.

20241215 i was in a mall that looked like Square One. Cookie was with me, and we went to a card game store. I watched Cookie interact with regulars who played card games there, then left to find Shortbread. When Cookie was done, I asked if we could take Shortbread home and he said yes.

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20241212 i was an inmate in a women's prison, but i was allowed to wander. I often visited one area where a girl with an innocent personality stayed. I escaped prison with her, although she didn't know. We avoided guards and police who looked for us on the streets and in a mall, where a guard found us in the mall fountain, hopping on stones to avoid getting our shoes wet. She asked why the guard chased us and I had to reveal that I got us out of prison. She was angry that I deceived her but kept running.

20241207 i woke from a nap to find my three month old baby in a Halo swivel bassinest beside her white, slatted crib. She outgrew it, with her legs dangling off the edge of it. The sound machine dangled off the side, ready to fall. My baby had her hand in her mouth, obliviously sucking away, happily.

20241128 i drove to a high school meet up at a computer cafe by myself. Cookie was at work and couldn't attend. The music was loud. There was so many people i didn't know, but i soon found Spritz and Shortbread at computers at a quieter corner. I took a spot beside Spritz and played a game for a couple of hours. When it was late and everyone was heading home, the three of us hitched a ride with a couple in their white station wagon. When we stopped at a gas station, i realized i left my car at the computer cafe. I turned to Shortbread and Spritz and exclaimed i could've driven them home myself.

20241124 I left my hotel in a suburb of the greater toronto area and took the subway all the way to the heart of toronto (there isn't one built on this period of time). I met shortbread there and some friends, and we stopped at a Chinese store. It was late in the day and the stores were closing. I threw a bunch of things (i couldn't get where i lived) into a cart and took it to a cashier whose register was outside the store while everyone waited at the sidewalk. He took a long time ringing up my items. When he was done, i was alone with my bags and everyone couldn't wait longer. I took the subway alone back to my hotel room.

 20241119 I awoke from bed, where I  slept on my side. My one breast engorged with milk and leaking. I felt the bed. It was wet, and a quick look showed a green, wet spot. My breastmilk was green.

20240820 I can't remember the dream contents except I was staying in a cottage and so was Spritz. He has a strange diet and I had trouble following what he ate and was allowed to eat by choice. He was sweeping in the foyer and I decided to help him.

20240730 Cookie and I went to an outdoor bar with our high school friends. I think there was a festival because most of our friends went exploring. Even though I am in my third trimester of pregnancy, I was mixing a drink for Amaretti. It was a light yellow, sweet cocktail. I brought it to him, who was comfortable on an outdoor sofa, and Cookie was sitting near him, chatting. Cookie showed me his phone. There was a text message chat open. He told me this lady was texting him, and seemed interested in getting to know him. I felt a pang of fear and grief. I didn't tell him, but I worried she was going to steal him away from me. In her profile picture, she was young and beautiful, and Cookie is a more than wonderful person.

20240525 I went with Cookie's aunt's immediate family to a club his grandfather use to visit. It was full of seniors of different races and ages, though everyone was older than seventy. On this day, they were having a party - a potluck was laid out across a long table in this small hall.

20240512 i met my neighbour who lives beside my house. He was black with tight, black curls that fell freely into the shape of an afro. In his arms was a toddler of two years of age, who shared the same tight, black curls. We spoke for a bit before i excused myself because i was on my way to the hospital.

20240511 [nsfw warning] i was with a small company of men who were robbing a small tribe of people. When the chief of this indigenous tribe was brought to our leader, he demanded he show him his wife. Beside the leader was an elaborately dressed woman with dark skin in flowly light blue robes and golden jewellery. Somehow our leader knew this was not his true wife, but a concubine. Another woman, with darker skin wore only gold bangles on her arms and legs, was brought to our leader. Somehow my company knew she was his true wife. She cried in protest as the men laid her on a table, and screamed in terror as my leader began to pull down the front of his pants. To my horror and disbelief, he raped her in front of everyone.

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20240417 Nap.

20240327 I was on vacation with Cookie, in a different country with lots of sunshine and grass. When I tried to put my glasses back on, the screw holding one of my lenses popped out. I didn't have a mini screwdriver with me. I am completely blind without them.

20240225 Cookie and I were in a different country, in a rural area. We were staying in a small cabin comunity, with wooden picnic tables set just outside the front doors.

20240216 After years without contact, Wafer invited me to her new apartment's party room where she was entertaining new friends. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, purely because I didn't think she was contributing anything positive in my life. Since I've had time to cool my head, I decided to give her another chance. i atrived to a sleek, white party room, where I decided to spend most of my time behind the bar and kitchenette. When Shortbread arrived, she'd stay there with me, each of us holding a red Solo cup as a crutch or our awkardness. Every now and then, the social butterfly, Wafer would come there to get something. She was surrounded by her friends. Barely any time was spent with us.

20240207 I called up Shortbread and we met at a new cake cafe around Yorkdale Mall. Lining the walls and floor-to-ceiling windows were woven baskets filled with golden and chocolate-brown cakes and cupcakes. Scattered around the room, in multiple small groups, were sofas, armchairs, and compact cafe sets of tables and chairs. I stopped at the cashier, ordering a cupcake, without icing. Paying for it, and after I was given it on a plate, I sat down at an armchair arrangement. Shortbread ordered a latte and sat across from me.