Sunday, July 20, 2025
20250720 i was outside Shortbread's parents' house. They had moved and she lived with them. Outside was a large front lawn and a canopy of evergreens led to the red front door. The grass was covered by a thin layer of fluffy snow.
It was my birthday. I came in to a small party of my friends and family.
Saturday, June 21, 2025
20250621 i was in school and running late to catch the bus home. I hopped in from the back, escape door, passing and waving to Shortbread and her sister on the way to an empty seat near the driver. Then the bus was off.
After several drop offs, the bus halted in a traffic jam. The engine was also dead from being the heatwave. I realized the street we were on was unfamiliar and not on the usual route, as well as Shortbread was never on my bus home. I was on the wrong bus.
My backpack wasn't with me either - i'd left it in my classroom, along with my cellphone.
"Sir," i called to the driver. He was elderly with white whisps of hair, glasses, and a red sweater vest on a white button-up shirt. "I'm on the wrong bus. I forgot my backpack and i don't have any money to get home."
He left his seat and pulled out a notebook and flipped to a page with music notes he'd written. Pointing at them he said, "do you know what these mean? I forgot them, but now i remember. They stand for 'peace...'" He waited for us to fill in the blanks: 'love', 'unity', 'respect', and 'trust'.
I checked the time overhead; it was 17:44 - at 18:00 i had to wake my baby and breastfeed her. I was not going to make it on time.
I called out to Shortbread behind me. "Can i borrow your phone a sec?" I asked.
"Of course."
I made my way to the back of the bus. The other students, tired and faint from the heatwave, lazed in their seats. Shortbread's sister leaned against the window as i approached and Shortbread pulled me into the vacant seat beside her.
She cheerfully handed me her phone.
"It finally pays to memorize a [phone] number," i said as i took it.
"Who are you going to call?" She asked as i tried to press the tiny buttons on the touch screen. Her phone was small with a tiny screen. It literally was also a piece of well-toasted toast, sliced in half. My fingers kept dialing the wrong numbers as i tried to press the '4'.
"Dean [Winchester]," (Cookie) i responded.
Friday, June 20, 2025
20250620 Shortbread and i ran through a Chinese plaza to escape some men chasing us. I had a friend with us. He was tall and lanky, blond and gentle. He was deaf. We stopped in a hallway behind some crates and he changed his socks from a white pair or pink ones as part of his work uniform.
We got separated and Shortbread and i tried to find our way around the Chinese stores and plaza. We were meeting our friends who were mostly Cherry's friends for lunch.
Shortbread and i ran into a Christmas supply store to avoid our predators. As we started up the carpeted steps, she said, "i always feel like someone is watching us."
I soon felt the feeling too, so we raced back down and out, successfully hiding out chasers.
We finally made it to our restaurant and was the first. Soon Cherry and her friends, then my deaf friend. He took a seat by me at the end of the table, reading everyone's lips. A group of Cherry's friends stopped in front of us to say hi. One of them was looking off to the side. She meant to look at us, but her vision was wonky.
As I sat beside him, I felt something urgent at that moment and my thought drowned out the conversation. I needed to tell him.
After this, he had work. I couldn't wait. As he started changing his socks, for a third time today, to another pink pair to go with his McDonald's uniform, I put my hands on his shoulders to have his full attention.
I shyly signed, "I think I love you".
Planting a hand in my hair, he pulled me into a warm kiss.
Monday, June 9, 2025
20250609 i was a pudgy dwarf with jet black hair cut like Edna from the Pixar film, The Incredibles. I lived by the sea, in a lighthouse. On the bottom floor was a personal dock and my little speed boat.
My best friend was tall and slim, with a pointy nose and delicate features. Her hair was dirty blond and always kept in a low ponytail. She was the type to keep to herself. For a long time, she ran and hid from her husband. He wanted to kill her.
On this rainy night, he found her. We ran away from him together, running to the closest, safe haven we had - my home. We ran inside and bolted the door behind us.
"What are you going to do?" I asked her, breathless.
"I want to go home."
I knew where she lived. She lived at the edge of a lake, somewhere far from here. But I thought that was a bad idea. He could catch her on the way and--
Before i could act, she was gone. She took a skidoo at the dock. I raced to my speed boat in fear for my own life.
For months I hopped islands in case this man was on my tail. I needed to make sure he never found her. On every island, I partied with tall, tanned and buff men, and drank cocktails wearing leis, taking the longest route to my friend's home.
Saturday, June 7, 2025
20250707 Shortbread and i were in school together, taking a science class in highschool. We sat in our desks, reading from our textbook doing the work on the computer. We got to the activity which was like a cypher except it was relevant to our everyday life. I took a break and came back to find Shortbread's part and another student's were the opposite and solved a problem for a major health issue. On the computer, i tried to complete my cypher. when i looked up from my desk, a loner girl who dressed punk and preppy at the same time put her used mug beside me. She was a bully with a toque. You could see her belly button and she wore dark eyeshadow and liner. She told me to move so i did.
Next, i was watching from in her house. She was in a relationship with the dance teacher. As she leaned forward into the counter, he moved in hugging her from behind. The space between their bodies enclosed showing they get physical from time to time. She turned around in his arms, wrapped hers around his neck, she kissed him.
He pulled away. "Now is not the time," he said, smoothly. "I need to practice and so do you."
I got the impression he was injured in his last dance competition and was recovering.
She, on the other hand, had a competition against her ex-boyfriend in table tennis. He called her up to tease her. He told her, "let's practice side-by-sides."
So, against the wall, she slammed the yellow ping pong ball with her paddle in lightning speed.
20250607
Cookie's mom came to my home at night to help me move some flowers. She saw a small box of cute, mini vases, took one, and thank me. They were late Mother's Day gifts for everyone.
-----
Cookie and I visited Biscotti's home where he was having a small get together. Spritz was there and so was Shortbread and Wafer. I sat on a sofa while Biscotti's mom helped me sew up a dress I was wearing. It was navy and made of velvet.
Biscotti, Cookie and Spritz talked about the time they went to ???-Con and said I should have came.
"I really wanted to, but I have to finish this for school," I said.
Regardless, the room turned into a crowded hallway at ???-con, where The boys were walking. Shortbread and Wafer were close behind them. Everyone stopped at a small dining area. I jealously watched as Wafer invite Spritz to the beach, hoping he wouldn't go. Biscotti would be in his home country, Shortbread wouldn't be able to either, and Cookie found her intolerable. Spritz said he'd come and Wafer shrieked out a joyous reply.
Friday, January 31, 2025
20250131 My high school friends were having a get together at an apartment owned by either Spritz or one of his sisters. Cookie and I brought our four month old baby, who was quiet and happy. I sat at a small, white dining table feeling isolated from all the activities. Because that's what it feels like as a new, breastfeeding mother at parties.
Spritz's older sister was going through the kitchen cabinets. I asked what she was doing.
”I'm looking for pot to make my hot chocolate," she said.
I got up from my seat and pulled out a small pot. “this will work perfectly," I said.
She agreed and left the suite to get ingredients at her apartment.
Spritz's younger sister saw Baby and asked to hold her. When Cookie came by, he asked, "where's Baby?"
I pointed to them by the window. She sat on the white, tiled floor with Baby on her lap as she showed her different pots and pans from the white cupboards.
Saturday, January 4, 2025
20250104 we visited Peach and Tomato at a new apartment they lived in, though ae only saw their kitchen. The walls, floor tiles and countertops were white. Their dogs weren't present, and neither was our baby. They invited us over for steak, and so I tried to help them. I went into their drawers to grab the right pack of spices to use. They had their spices bundled in sets and in clear boxes.
I asked Peach, “which one?”
She looked briefly before yelling to Tomato, “Which one?”
Tomato came by, handed me a large stack of Home Depot flyers and found it.
I leafed through the flyers, commenting I was impressed by the amount they had aquired. They're fun to look through. When we finished cooking the vegetables, we were ready to cook the steak. Their home had become mobile, and we could see Toronto as if we were on a streetcar. My mom also materialized, saying she wanted to cook the steaks. I reminded her they're suppose to be half cooked - slightly raw in the centre.
I sat down across from Peach and asked how their dogs were.
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
20241119 I awoke from bed, where I slept on my side. My one breast engorged with milk and leaking. I felt the bed. It was wet, and a quick look showed a green, wet spot. My breastmilk was green.
Labels: theme: baby, theme: colour
Tuesday, April 30, 2024
20240430
I remember pieces from my dreams.
Cookie had to help set up for a formal function in a mall, so I went for a walk inside a department store. I saw a mustard-coloured hoodie and really wanted to buy it. After taking it to the cashier, someone from my country and the formal function commented on my purchase as I was leaving the store. I stipped by a bench to put the hoodie away and saw I spent $69 dollars just for the hoodie. Thr fabric was thin and I decided it wasn't worth the purchase. Cookie found me on the bench and I showed him the hoodie, and that I'd like to return it. He walked with me to the entrance, where an asian man in a grey suit had a point-of-sales machine. I told him my intention, and as he upsettingly looked at me, he looked over the hoodie and commented on why would I return it. I felt ashamed. He made me feel ashamed.
On a snowy, winter day, I walked to my old workplace where I was a light packager. In my hand was an application form, filled and signed. I carefully crossed a bridge and into the building. The sun hadn't risen yet.
Inside, I found my old supervisor, surrounded by some old and new faces. I handed the form to her, but she smiled and said I don't need one and she'll take care of it. I went into the warehouse hall and took a seat across from two younger boys - one fashioned in emo attire. Then I began to doodle on the back of my paper.
Labels: person: cookie, theme: colour, theme: work, weather: snow
Wednesday, April 17, 2024
20240417 Nap.
Cookie and I drove to a hill on a meadow with long, vividly green grass. The sky was grey and cloudy from a storm, and within a ten minute walk, a single, tall, modern condominium rose made of steel and glass.
On the hill, our older nephew sat, and he stood when he saw us arrive. He ran to us and I ran to him, yelling, “guess what?”
“What?” he yelled approaching.
“I forgot to change from my pajamas!” I said, looking down at my grey sweatpants.
I don't remember how this happened, but shortly after, two women ran towards me. I yelled at them, as if I was angry. “I hope you never have pain as bad as a migraine! Because they're awful!”
As they approached, they both hugged me close at the same time. From under their arms, I heard one of them say, “you're a dear.”
Labels: person: cookie, theme: colour, theme: nature, weather: cloudy
Friday, February 16, 2024
20240216 After years without contact, Wafer invited me to her new apartment's party room where she was entertaining new friends. I haven't seen or spoken to her in years, purely because I didn't think she was contributing anything positive in my life. Since I've had time to cool my head, I decided to give her another chance. i atrived to a sleek, white party room, where I decided to spend most of my time behind the bar and kitchenette. When Shortbread arrived, she'd stay there with me, each of us holding a red Solo cup as a crutch or our awkardness. Every now and then, the social butterfly, Wafer would come there to get something. She was surrounded by her friends. Barely any time was spent with us.
Something horrendous happened, I can't remember what, sending us all to hide under sturdy furniture. Wafer crouched with us under the bar as we waited for the trouble to end. She mumbled something spiteful and with snark, that the reason why bad things were happening was all the fault of the friend who left her for years. I knew she meant me. I knew she hadn't changed. I got up and rushed to the door with disregard for my safety. I was upset, angry. Why would she invite me if she still held resentment. I was ready to start freshm but she was not.
;;
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